are gene-deep. Addictions aren't caused by any drug, or a certain type of food or video game or style of being. Addictions are a lifestyle that some people are born living. This is why some people are addicted to weed, and some people can drink every day for ten years and quit with relative ease.
Me? I'm one of the first types. Not that I ever got hooked on weed. But I do get hooked on other things. Sugar. Video games. Impulsive spending, obsessive online window-shopping. More recently, nicotine. It's a lifestyle, something I was born doing and will probably be doing the rest of my life. For me, it's not the object of my addiction so much as it is the craving itself, and the satisfaction that comes when it's fulfilled. An itch, in other words. One that doesn't go away. My question is, is it really so bad to scratch it?
"Well, if you scratch a mosquito bite, it gets worse, and then it starts bleeding and you die." True, but that's a mosquito bite. An external source, I would think of it the same way I think of heroin, which is totally black-hole-level addicting even to non-addictive people. You do heroin, and then it gets worse and then you die, no matter who you are. So I suppose you have to decide for yourself what is an internal addiction, and what is an external one.
The difference, in my opinion, comes down to brain chemistry. All addictions, when satisfied, release some chemical in your brain, be it dopamine, or whatever. External addictions like heroin release this chemical in massive amounts, then your brain says, "oh look, yummy chemicals" and lowers production of that chemical on a regular basis. In short, external highs fade with time. Internal highs do not, they continuously refresh. Also, they're usually harder to define. These are the kind of highs that are mostly natural and come from doing something you love, or something like a runner's high or an orgasm. They're hard to define and difficult to do, especially considering they seem tedious at first. (Except for orgasms. But why we don't go around having more of those is a discussion for another time.)
"So Chris, what the hell are you saying?" I don't really know. I'm trying to figure out why I suddenly have to force myself to write this while I wait for my energy to recharge in a flash game, and why I'm suddenly torn between Doctor Who and that same flash game. It's because I'm an addictive personality type, okay. It's an internal addiction, okay. It's also slightly dangerous. Flash games are not like orgasms. Flash games are stupid time-wasters, orgasms are beautiful. So maybe it's not an internal addiction. That would also make sense. Yeah, I'm going to go with that.
Fuck. Basically, I started trying to justify me own playing of flash games, said some profound things as to the nature of addictions, and wound up telling myself to get out from behind the screen and run a marathon and get laid. See? Overthinking things does sometimes lead to good stuff. Now, excuse me, my energy is finished recharging, and my sister is starting Doctor Who. I'll be seeing you guys later.
